


Fragile, Fleeting Dawn

by MistressVanya



Series: Winter and Spring [1]
Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Also long haired Djeeta, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying Belial, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feelings Realization, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Lucilius is an asshole in this I'm sorry, Minor Violence, Poor Belial needs love, References to Depression, Sad Belial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 08:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18465310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressVanya/pseuds/MistressVanya
Summary: Belial never gives himself any chance to be vulnerable. He never lets his feelings and emotions running wild inside.'Kill her, Belial.'This time, he surrenders to himself.





	Fragile, Fleeting Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm back with another work! 
> 
> This is the first work in the series. Unlike my other Granblue Fantasy series, Colors of The Sky, this series will focus more on BeliDjeeta relationship. The timeline in this series is slightly different from the canon WMTSB III ending. In this series, Belial is saved and not trapped in the dimensional rift. Please look up to more works in the series. ^^
> 
> English is not my mother language so I deeply apologize for any spelling or grammatical error.
> 
> Best Regards,  
> Mistress Vanya

Initially, Belial never think too much about how he feels toward the Singularity. Sure, she did ‘save’ him from jumping to his own death (more like ruining his plan, though). She stupidly jumped after him after his so-called last speech about not being appreciated and recognized, which prompted Sandalphon to jump too so he can save her. The new Supreme Primarch ended up saving both of them, not only the Singularity.

In fact, Belial should be hating her right now. Because if not for her reckless act, he’d be able to save his beloved Lucilius. She ruined his plan, and now Lucilius is trapped inside the dimensional rift. Alone. He could at least accompany Lucilius there if not for her.

Belial used to not really care about anything, anyone, except when it concerns Lucilius. He’d happily endure anything as long as he can satisfy his messiah. Belial endured every painful experiment, every harsh treatment, every wound, every ignorance and sarcasm thrown at him. He endured the excruciating pain when Lucilius ripped his pure white wings and replaced them with his current wings. He endured the pang in his chest when Lucilius refused to eat the breakfast he cooked with all of his heart.

He accepted everything Lucilius gave him. Belial accepted every cold remarks and threats at him, making jokes out of them about how much Lucilius loved him. He accepted Lucilius’ abuse, claiming to himself that those are Lucilius’ ways of conveying his love to him. He accepted the lack of credits, despite all the effort he gave to collect every materials Lucilius needed. He accepted the harsh punishments Lucilius inflicted on him when the Astral felt stressed or when he felt like Belial had bothered him.

Belial paid no attention to the things Lucilius did to him, no matter how cruel and painful they are. He kept telling himself that Lucilius loved him, those are just the way he showed his love to Belial. When his heart wavered just a little bit, he told himself that he need to stay strong for Lucilius’ sake. That if he stayed strong, Lucilius would treasure and love him more. Even after Lucilius gave harsh criticisms over his cooking, Belial plainly accepted them and redo his cooking to fit Lucilius’ tongue. He never tasted them to prove whether what Lucilius said was wrong or right.

No matter how painful and cold Lucilius treated him, Belial still make sure he took care of Lucilius properly. He tucked the Astral to his bed, he brought him food everyday, dressed and changed his clothes, and serviced him with sex if Lucilius was in the mood. He even waited patiently for 2000 years to get the chance to bring Lucilius back.

That should be enough to prove his love for Lucilius. For his messiah.

Thus, he should be hating the Singularity right now down to his bone. He should be searching for any way to get his revenge on her for making Lucilius trapped, though it’s not solely her fault too. He should kill her whenever he can. Especially with him joining the crew (at Djeeta’s insistance of course), it should be easy for him to sneak inside her quarters and stab her heart when she’s asleep. Or strangling her pretty neck with his bare hands. Or disembowel her and presents her organs to Lucilius as a present.

It should be very,  _very_ , easy.

But then, Belial found his resolve weaken each day, and he hates himself for that.

Every day since the day he joined the crew, Belial finds it harder and harder to lift his hands against the Singularity. He finds it harder to muster enough courage to kill her in her sleep. And of course, he finds it harder to not save her when she’s in danger. It’d be easier for him if he just let her get mortally wounded then die from fighting monsters. However, every time he sees her in danger, his body moved by its own, shielding her from the attack or killing her foes. Always.

Belial doesn’t understand why he did that. Before, he was quite a strong-willed one. Once he’s set on something, he’ll never completely rest until he finished with it. Reviving Lucilius is one of the good example of how strong his will was.

And yet, he still finds himself unable to kill her.

Once he’s already inside her quarters, watching her sleeping peacefully and nuzzling on her pillow. He glances down at her, a dagger ready to be plunged to her chest. It probably would not kill her, but he can torture her first before he decided to kill her. Then, his resolves crumbled into pieces when he saw Djeeta mumbling about breakfast with a silly grin on her face.

He can’t. He can’t do that. He can’t kill her.

In the end, Belial quietly exited her quarters after fixing and tucking the blanket properly around Djeeta’s shoulder. The Singularity has a bad habit of kicking the blanket after all.

He failed again. Belial can already imagine Lucilius’ disappointed face staring at him from the dimensional rift. He imagines Lucilius’ cold remarks at his incompetence. They all genuinely scared him. Not because of Lucilius’ punishments, no. Belial is scared that Lucilius finally has enough with him and decided to leave him. All because he failed to complete his task to kill the Singularity.

_‘What is wrong with me?’_

He doesn’t understand.

_‘Why am I like this?’_

Nobody would tell him why.

_‘What have you done to me, Singularity?’_

Belial finds himself longing for her. Longing for her laugh, for her touch, for her presence. A smile from her is enough to make his heart flutters and his chest ache. Her small touch on his body is enough to make him tremble, to enhance his longing. Her presence beside him is enough to make warmth bubbles inside him. He wants to take her body inside his embrace, hearing her soft whisper of praises in his ear. He wants to cradle her forever and never let her go.

_‘What is this feeling?’_

Please tell him. He’s  _dying_  to know, to understand this unfamiliar ache in his chest. This is something new for him, as he never felt like this before. Not even with Lucilius. With Lucilius, he never feel this aching of longing. Oh, of course he did  _long_  for Lucilius. Just in a completely different way. The desire he currently feels toward the Singularity is a different desire from what he felt toward Lucilius.

_‘Tell me, Singularity, what is wrong with me?’_

\---OooOooO---

Primals don’t really need to sleep like mortals, but still Djeeta gave him a private room just like the others. The first time she showed him to his quarters, Belial teased her, claiming that he didn’t mind if she wanted to ‘sleep’ with him. It might be just a light tease, yet deep inside Belial silently hoped that Djeeta would accept his offer. Back then for him, it’d be easier to kill her if he stayed in the same room as her.

That time Djeeta only laughs at his remark, pushing him inside the small yet cozy quarters. She said Belial will never knew when he will need a time for himself. She also said that she didn’t want to invade his privacy, especially with him as one of her crews. Belial casually brushed that aside, saying that he didn’t need a time for himself, as he only wanted a time together with her.

Now, Belial is really grateful that Djeeta gave him his own quarters.

See, Belial never gives himself any chance to be vulnerable in front of the others. He always show them his best side, his best smile. The confident, manipulative, and pervert side of him. Belial can proudly claim that those are his best side. He never shows another side of him when his heart wavers. When he feels the emptiness and pain start to rip him from inside out.

Before, Belial can’t afford vulnerability no matter how much he want to just drop down on his knees and be vulnerable. He was Lucifer’s adjutant, then Lucilius’ assistant. One of his purpose was to serve, and he did his best in fulfilling his purpose. He served them with all of his might, all of his heart. Being vulnerable is just a big no in his dictionary. A servant like him can’t be vulnerable.

It’s hard to stay strong all the time, but then if that meant he fulfilled his purpose, Belial will happily do it over and over again. It’s his purpose, it’s what he meant to do, it’s  _why_  he was created. To serve his purpose.

But here is different.

There is no ‘Master’ here. There is no one for him to serve here. He hates that. He can’t fulfil his purpose without anyone to serve. Lucifer is dead, Lucilius is trapped in the dimensional rift, Sandalphon would rather kill himself than have Belial serving him. The Singularity is just too independent. She doesn’t need to be served, as she somehow manages to do everything by herself. Sure, she still needs help, but she doesn’t need being served like how he used to do.

The lack of purpose here eats him alive from the inside. It makes him empty and gnaws at his already confused heart. He’s vulnerable. And these four walls of this quarters protect him from wandering eyes. In this room, he can be himself and let himself vulnerable. Outside, he’ll return back to his usual self in front of the Singularity.

Still, he can’t stay like this forever. Pretending is easy, but it hurts. Belial wants to go back to the day where he still has Lucilius to serve. He  _needs_  to go back. He can’t stay like this forever. It’s killing him alive.

And for that, he has to kill the Singularity. Once the Singularity died, he can do anything that he wants, releasing Lucilius from there, and serve him again. He can fulfil his purpose again.

Belial makes up his mind that he will kill her right now. The faster the better. He has delayed this for two years, and he finds that each day his resolve would weaken and his heart wavers again. Right now, he still knows how weak his resolve to kill her is, and he knows how he doesn’t really want to kill her. He knows.

However, this is something he  _has_  to do. Killing her will be painful for him, yet then he will be able to fulfil his purpose again. He will be able to serve his messiah again.

He will finally,  _finally_  has a reason to live.

\---OooOooO---

He knocks twice at Djeeta’s quarters.

“Come on in,” Her soft voice answers him.

Inside, Djeeta is busy changing the bandage on her thigh. The previous mission left her thigh wounded pretty badly, and she’s losing a lot of blood too. It takes quite some time for her to recover.

“Hey, Belial,” Djeeta looks at the fallen angel briefly, smiling sweetly at him before she returns back to what she did. Her long (she decided to let her hair grow), blonde hair falls down, covering her face from Belial. “What is it?”

_‘Quick, Belial. Do it. Leap upon her, strangle her neck until you can see her life fades from her eyes.’_

Belial puts his signature smile on his face, approaching her and sits beside her. His eyes stray down to her thighs. Her soft, supple thighs. He wonders briefly how would it feel to sink his teeth there, making her moans in ecstasy as he left bitemarks along the perfect skin.

“I just want to offer you something, Singularity.”

_‘Kill her, Belial.’_

She doesn’t pay any attention to Belial until she finished with her bandage and sets aside the first aid kit on her nightstand. Djeeta turns around to lean back on the pillow, relaxing her still sore thigh. Comfortable with her position, she smiles gently at the fallen angel.

“What is it?”

The change prompts him to change his position too. Belial climbs on the bed (after taking off his shoes, of course) and settles himself in front of her. Yes. This is perfect. He has her in front of her, all vulnerable and weak with her wounded thigh. It should be easy to just pounce on her, pining her with his entire weight. She wouldn’t be able to escape then. The Singularity might be very strong, but she’s still no match for a primal like him.

_‘Do it, Belial.’_

Kill her. Strangle her.

_‘Do it.’_

Put an end to this.

_‘Do it!’_

His hands move to her neck as he pins her down quickly. He can see the flash of surprise on her warm hazel eyes. Yes. That’s it, Belial. He finally manage to do this, after waiting and delaying for two painful years. He’s had his hands around her neck, ready to just strangle her to death. Belial enjoys the look of panic on her face, though she doesn’t even move or struggle to break free from his confinement. She just stares at him, eyes unreadable, even as he tightens his hands in an attempt to strangle her.

Finally he will get his purpose back.

“Belial!” She doesn’t pry him off her. Her hands are not pushing him away. Instead, they’re moving to his face.

Belial hates that. She should be struggling. She should be trying to scream or get any help.

Not looking at him like that. With eyes full of sadness.

He tightens his hands again. He hates her. He hates the Singularity so much. He hates her for taking away his purpose. He hates her for giving him a freedom. He hates her for making him confused with all the new feelings.

She must die. With her dead, he can return back to those days where he was able to hide his vulnerable side. 

_‘Die, die!’_

“…B-Bel...li…al—“ Good, she starts to run out of breath right now. It wouldn’t be long before he can see her life fades.

_‘Good boy, Belial.’_  He can almost hear Lucilius’ voice whispering on his ears. The same voice that he longs to hear, uttering praises to him—

—and snaps him awake from his trance.

Instantly his hands fly away from the Singularity’s neck as he scrambles back, away from her. No. Oh no, what did he just do to her? Did he actually going to kill her? Belial looks down at his shaking hands. This hands that he could use to caress and touch her gently, he used to almost kill her. He glances upwards at the sight of Djeeta in front of him.

She tries to sit down, coughing and wheezing as she tried to breathe in as much oxygen as she can right now. There is a hand-shaped redness on her neck that surely will bruise later.

“…Belial…” Even her voice is hoarse now. Djeeta stares at him, still having the same expression on her face. Sadness. “…oh, Belial…”

Now Belial is full on trembling. He can’t believe that he let himself strangle her until she almost died. He’s unable to utter any word out of his mouth. He just sits there, trembling, asking himself why did he do that. Tears prickling his eyes as he still trying to grasp what the heck just happened? What possessed him to do that? And what snapped him awake and made him pull back before everything was too late?

Ah.

Lucilius’ praises. Lucilius would  _never_ praise him. Lucilius never praised him before, and he will never praise him. Ever. That’s a harsh truth that slaps him awake. That he was not in his right mind if he heard Lucilius praising him.

“….Singularity, I…I’m—“ His voice shakes as tears slowly runs down his cheek. He didn’t mean to hurt her, or even kill her. He’s confused. He’s not himself. The pain and emptiness blinded him.

_‘I’m sorry,’_

He expects Djeeta to storms out of the room, crying and asking someone to subdue him. He expects Djeeta to strike back at him, fighting him. He expects her to get angry at him for strangling her. Belial waits for any hit, any pain, any screaming.

There’s nothing.

Instead, her warm hands are once again on his cheek, gently wiping away his tears. She’s smiling, albeit a bit painfully.

“Belial, are you okay?” Her voice is still hoarse. She must be forcing herself to speak. It must be hurt to speak after being strangled.

Stupid, stupid Singularity. Belial wants to scream at her, to shout at her. He wants to shake her awake, so that she’d inflict any pain on him. She’s insane! The Singularity is stupid, naïve, and crazy! He  _should_  be the one who asked that, not the other way around. She should be cowering in fear, away from him. She should be running away from him. She should be freaking out that he’s going to kill her. Not approaching him and touching him this gently.

No, it’s not right.  _This_ is not right.

“…why…” Belial hangs his head low, away from her warm, gentle gaze. “…why are you not angry…” And when he lifts his head again, he’s full blown crying.

“Oh, Belial—“

“Don’t do that! Don’t touch me! Get away from me! I fucking tried to  _kill_  you! You should be angry! You should be scared!” He’s shaking violently, unable to control his own feelings anymore. The confusion, the anger, the pain, the emptiness, all of them are coming back and hitting his heart like an airship.

“…you’re not supposed to be… so gentle… to me…”

He’s been bad. The Singularity should not treat him this gently. He was being bad. He was supposed to be punished hard for being bad. He was supposed to feel pain for his mistreatment at her.

He doesn’t deserve this sweetness. Not after what he did to her.

It hurts, oh, it hurts so bad.

He can’t breathe. It’s really hard to breath now.

Then suddenly he was enveloped in a warm embrace. The Singularity pulls him closer, letting his head rests on her chest.

“Hey, hey, calm down. Calm down. Breathe for me, okay? Breathe.”

She inhales and exhales slowly, loudly, silently asking Belial to follow her example. Which he did, until he feels like he’s not going overdrive and explodes from the rush of emotions. He manages to control himself again, no longer crying and screaming like before.

“Yes, just like that. Good boy. You did so well, Belial.” Ah, she praises him. It’s funny how for her, praises seem to flow easily, smoothly from her beautiful lips. Praises laced with honesty and sincerity, and pure gratitude.

“Feel better?” Djeeta asks, keeping her voice calm and low.

Belial nods, nuzzling into the space between her shoulder and her neck. Oh, how good her smell is. He wants to keep breathing in that smell forever.

Djeeta releases her hug though she still keeps him close. She’s smiling sweetly at him, almost relieved that he no longer crying. She wants to ask what’s wrong with him, but she holds herself back. Belial doesn’t need to be interrogated with her questions now. And she’s sure that Belial is not ready yet to spill.

“Are you okay now?” No, she’s not going to tease him for trying to kill her before, not like how she usually did to Sandalphon.

“…yes.” Belial’s voice sounds so small, like a little child.

“I’m going to lay down now, okay?” Her wounded thigh starts throbbing again, and her neck too. She lies back on the bed, pulling Belial with her. This position might not be the best for either of them, but it’s the best if she wanted to comfort Belial.

Belial stares down at her. At her slightly pale face. At her warm smile. At the redness around her neck. He feels another pang inside his chest. Maybe this is what human claimed as ‘guilt’. Slowly, he touches the red mark, wanting to erase it away, wanting to take the pain away.

“Belial?”

Then he leans down, making sure that he’s not squashing her with his weight, until his lips are parallel with her neck.

“I’m sorry…” He mumbles, placing a soft kiss there. Deep inside he hopes that his kisses are enough to take the pain away, to heal whatever damage he has done to her. “I’m sorry…” Again, and again. More kisses. Each kisses evolve into something more passionate.

“….Belial, it’s okay—nnh…”

He can’t stop. He’s addicted to the taste of her skin on his lips. He doesn’t want to stop kissing her neck. Belial darts his tongue out, licking the redness, before kissing it again. Feels good. Tastes good. He can feel the familiar heat pooling in his groin. He wants her. He wants to claim her and make her his forever. He wants to serve beneath her feet, it’s fine if he’s being treated like a dog again.

Belial doesn’t care. He wants to serve her, fulfilling his purpose.

“Singularity…” He murmurs between each kisses. “…Djeeta…”

Djeeta knows what Belial is going to do, from the way he slowly grinds his hips on her calf. Or from his heavy breathing and the hardness poking her. At first she’s going to let Belial do that to comfort him, but she knows that this is not the right time. Not yet. There are still a lot that both of them need to discover. Rushing is not good, that’s what she learn as she grows from a mere teenager to an adult.

So when one of Belial’s hand starts slipping inside her shirt, she knows it was time to stop.

“Okay, okay, stop right now, Belial.” Her tone is firm. Gentle and still sweet, but firm. She orders him to  _stop_.

As much as Belial hates it, he stops like a good dog he is. His red eyes clash with Djeeta’s hazel ones, silently begging her to let him continue and service her as an apology. Belial can do it perfectly, making her moan and squirm in pleasure.

“I’d love to do that, but” Warm palms cup Belial’s cheek, rubbing away any track of tears from his cheek.

“…this is not the right time. We’re both tired right now. Why don’t we just rest for now, and we’ll talk later after we nap?” It’s still early, not even dusk.

Belial blinks several times at her. A nap with her. Sounds good. He needs time too, to settle his own feelings. Then he grins, his usual grin.

“Oookaay, a nap it is, then. Really, Singularity. If you wanted to have my company, you should just tell me sooner.” It doesn’t take long for him to return back to put his best self again on his face. He’s just hiding the bundle of conflicted feelings behind the mask of a horny fallen angel.

She laughs, voice still raspy. “Make yourself comfy, then.”

This is already comfortable for him. His head, lying on the pillow with the Singularity beside him. It takes several movement to rearrange himself so the Singularity’s head is resting on his upper arm. The Singularity looks exhausted, her eyelids already dropping. By the time Belial finished covering their body with a blanket, she’s already deep in her sleep.

He still doesn’t know why she’s being so kind and gentle to him after he strangled her. He still can’t understand the smile on her face as she calmed him down. Any person should be freaking out after they’ve been strangled.  _Normal_  person, that is. It seems like the Singularity is not just any normal person.

Is she silently freaking out? Is she scared?  _Was_  she scared? Was she disappointed at him? Does she still trust him?

Belial continues to stare at her sleeping face, until he feels his eyes growing heavy.

_‘It’s not hatred, Belial.’_

Then what is it?

_‘You’re in love with her, Belial.’_

Love?

He loves her?

Even though he tried to kill her?

_‘Indeed,’_

_‘Love, after all, is a mass of contradiction,’_

**Author's Note:**

> Belial deserves better, he deserves love and affection. And Djeeta is ready to give all of that to him, despite her not knowing about it yet. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this work! Please leave me lots of kudos if you like it! („ᵕᴗᵕ„)


End file.
